#7

Have you moved on ?are you seeing other girls since you left me ?do you think of me at times ?do you miss me ,miss us ?do you miss the times we spend together ? -such questions always pop in my mind ,leaving me hanging .

I know there's no reason for me to hang on for you for so long and i should have already moved on ,but knowing is different from doing it .Its easy to know ,but its just so hard and difficult to do it .
Sometimes i still dream of you .are these nightmares ,or the sweetest dreams ?sweetest nightmare ,maybe ?

Recently my phone went cray and guess what ,our only left whatsapp conversation *poof* gone .yea the only thing left was gone and i've got nothing left for me to look back to when i miss you .

Recently in school ,i cried twice for you .first i saw this guy ,with the similar hairstyle you had reminded me of you. tears immediately flow down and they cant stop no matter how hard i tried. next after i had dance class ,suddenly reminded me that you went for dance classes too back then ,reminded of how we used to be back then. i tried to hold back my emotions and not to show it out and i succeed .but guess what ,i still broke down in the end. and again uncontrollably tears flow down my cheeks non stop.

I hate how i am like this. i hate how people see this weak side of me. when people care for me i feel like they're pitying me .idk why would i become like this. its so hard for me to believe someone ,its so hard for me to accept someone's care and concern towards me. i push people away in any way i could. is this because of the hurt you've caused me ,that caused me to be like this ?

Its been so long since things happened ,time flies .i dont blame you if you've moved on and being with someone else .i mean isnt it normal for someone to move on after time passed ,in addition not contacting with that someone at all ,right ?or maybe im just so easily replaced ,because i cant seems to move on a single bit ,i cant seems to be the one i was before we met .

I really miss you ,i really do ..